Mal is the Man

Screamin tires out of the house late for work, right? And of course, damn gas light is on grrrr. So that means taking the freeway to work because of the stupid gas station. 

After pumping the 2 minute ten into the tank, I popped in that blue iPod cuz the trucks iPod had a dead battery, then I raced outta there and jumped onto the interstate. As SOON as I merged onto 70 like forty seconds later, I see over the dashboard the hood of the truck wasn’t latched. Jammin down the freeway at 80mph with this thing just opening a few inches up n down up n down up n down up n down

What the?!? 

So of course now, cuz I got girl brain, I’m instantly thinking Do I pull over? Do I pull over? Do I pull over? Two hands gripping the wheel as I’m lifted up so I can watch this damn hood open n close at a high velocity of speed. 

I merge outta the fast lane (where I belong) and get behind a ups truck in the right lane and slow to a crawl at 65 MPh where I am able to imagine that the front wind I’m driving against alone in the open left lane is being blocked instead by this truck. I’m safer.

Haha yeah right!

Girl brain of course is still in minor freak out mode. I’m still two hand gripping. Pre playing the scenario in my head hoods gonna fly open hoods gonna fly open hoods gonna fly open 

Rush hour traffic so I’m already worried about skidding to a stop plus also equally at the same time not wanting to pull over.

The dilemma!

Brain still deciding. You make observations to yourself. You start saying. Well it woulda already opened by now if it was gonna right? Surely if it was gonna it woulda. Then I merge to left lane. And of course I get all weird and back to right lane , you know, in case I need the ditch for when the damn thing inevitably flies open breaks OFF the hinges goes flying overhead and smashes violently into the road behind me causing more terror and panic.

Yes. I have a girl brain and that’s how those do.

10 minutes of deciding this before I reminded myself that no, I’m not a complete pussy so I pulled off right before I had to merge onto to 270 from 70 cause I know damn good n well my daddy didn’t raise no wimp.

I get out and tried to shut the damn thing, stupid hair is blowing in my face. I can feel the truck move every time a semi races by. Man that shit makes me nervous, but alas, I must be some kinda dumbass cause it’s not opening OR latching shut. I wasted 6 precious minutes messing with that stupid thing.

I surrender and after a brief phone call to jim I get back on the road irritated, cause, now I’m really late, and mopar is an asshole.

No sound in the car because I haven’t resumed volume just yet so in addition to grripping the wheel and focusing on the hood, now I can hear it. Clank  clank clankclank  clank  clank  clankclank 

Nerve wracking. Then I think? Huh? What are you doing? All you can hear now is this? Too stressful.

I Reach over,  c  r a n  k  the knob a brisk turn all the way over and

Aaaaahhhhhhhhh

No more clanking hood.

Thennnnnnnnn

That damn blue iPod 

This is the device I wear at home attached to my persons and strapped into, usually on quiet volume and hello!!! Now it’s blaring loud on my car stereos acoustics and it’s like gettin some strange, ya know?

WOW!!

And as soon as I’m squeezing my big Ass truck into the center lane within a construction zone and a big 18 wheeler on one side and a dump truck on the other fkn ROCKER kicks on.. not just rocker. But. A live bootleg rocker. Which one it is exactly I’m not sure since I don’t have them all memorized yet, but fffffffuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkk

Shit just took over man.

Hell  yeah!!!

I got my right arm pumpin, both legs goin, Im singin,  dancin,  hair blowin in the wind. Sunglasses on

Mal just rammin it right down my throat

Just having a good ole time

It was like I’d never heard this song in all my life!

Hearts Pumpin

Big fkn grin on face

Singin along with the fans

I kid you not I start laughing as I realize 

Huh? What hood?😅😅😅😅😅

I forgot all about that traumatic stress inducing unnecessary worry inducer. 

Malcolm Young  IS what that was all about.

He took a hold of me and that was all there was to it. Exhilarating as shit man!

I realized where I was and what I was doing as the song ended and the crowd was screamin their tits off. 

I snapped out of my concert frenzy just in time to catch the button on the ipod to see what the hell bootleg WAS that?

Booze. Blues. N Tattoos

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Author: Fran Robinson

acdc lover

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