Believe in Your Dreams

I am participating in the Writing Contest: You Deserve to be Inspired. Hosted by Positive Writer.

http://positivewriter.com/writing-contest-you-deserve-to-be-inspired/

Enjoy!

When I was 12 years old, I saw the words “Bon Scott” spray painted in black graffiti on a water tower from the window of my seventh grade history class. What seemed to be a meaningless observation was actually my life’s foreshadowing. Who and what I would become later in life would be very much influenced by this person and who he was associated with. 

Eight years later on a sweltering hot September afternoon, I saw acdc live in concert from the very front row. They appeared on that stage and the rest of my life in that instant >>>> began. 

There I was gripping the fence just a few feet from the stage looking at these magnificent human beings with a look of awe spread across my face.

And the Music! It was so incredibly LOUD. Shaking the sky loose loud and so strong, it felt like a velvet lined cloud encasing me in warmth yet gripping and grabbing ahold of me and jolting my ass alive!  

That pounding music penetrated into the most inner depths of my soul and set me on fire! The energy generated from the sound of those instruments fusing together was like a vibrating pulse of quivering ecstasy! It was a complete eye opening to what being a woman was all about. Oh wow was it INTENSE!

This new deal? This acdc thing? Whatever it is was now the only thing that mattered. The life that I had known was now firmly behind me.

Angus was unimaginably enchanting and watching him was like nothing I had ever experienced — NOTHING

My mouth remained open, my eyes refusing to blink for fear of missing even a nano millisecond of this unbelievable man! Angus was running about, flowing hair flying behind him, bending and twisting himself into a frenetic spasm of euphoria. 

However, amid this stimulating awakening to my own desires, there was also a crowd induced drunken frenzy brewing, and yes, unfortunately the hot sun and overindulgence of alcohol created a stirring pot within this overheated mob, and it got very ugly.

And when the ugliness of the crowd erupted into a scary and confusing bout of violent, disrespectful behavior, and unbelievable assholery toward the band, Malcolm and Angus Young, these two extraordinary brothers, strode to the front of that stage and stuck out their chins. They faced that mayhem head on by standing up stronger and taller with a piercing look of defiance in their eyes. This is the moment I fell in love with acdc, and Angus Young became my hero.

The impact on me was so profound and was such an incredible experience I wanted to leap about the air like a lovestruck cartoon character!

All my life until this point I lived with self-consciousness and doubt, hiding myself inside a shell. I worried about what others would think of me. 

Feelings of insecurity and being ugly influenced my outward demeanor, and I saw myself as inadequate and invisible which of course dictated who I was and how I reacted to life.

Believe it or not, acdc made me realize how to finally accept me for who I was and not to care what anyone thinks. To just to be who I am and if they didn’t like it, fuck em.

And at that moment witnessing how they themselves reacted to an extremely negative and scary situation I came to realize I wasn’t just looking at a rock band, I was watching greatness. I was overcome with these sensational feelings of gratitude for them and I grew the utmost respect for each of these five men standing in front of me and I was blooming with inspiration. 

I knew almost nothing of the Young brothers on that day, but I would soon learn about their incredible badass attitudes toward life and how both did things their own way. Never quitting, each devoting his entire life to giving 100% no matter what adversity they faced or what critics had to say.

Not long after that life-altering concert I put all my inspiration into writing in a diary, and I had this crazy daydream of Angus knowing me. I fantasized about him someday reading it.

I wrote thousands of words, drew silly pictures, told him all of my embarrassing stories. Everything I could possibly say and as intimately as I could. He must! He must know I existed!

Everyone always asks me when I talk starry-eyed about the magnificence of Angus, “Why do you love him so much?” I trip over my own damn tongue because I can’t spit out the words quickly enough or even sound coherent because my thoughts all leap to the front of my head too fast and I sound like a jibbering twelve year old. I’M A GROWN ADULT! I have a husband, a career, my goodness I even have grandkids!

Decades have gone by now, and through all the trials and tribulations life has thrown at me I never gave into abandoning my affection and dedication to them. Acdc somehow made me self-assured and confident and grew me into the uninhibited woman that I have become.  
I have lived a joyous, pleasure filled existence.

And oh wow.

After many years of attempts, failures, and persistence my foreshadowed destiny finally connected with my dreams and I achieved my greatest goal.

I stood face to face with this magnificent man and personally placed my 460 page, two and a half pound diary directly into his wee tiny hands.

A phenomenal day indeed. 

Not only that but months later I received personal confirmation from both Angus and his wife Ellen that Angus did indeed read my diary! 

My dream had come true. 

He does now know I exist!

As I have grown older, my affection and dedication to them remains. And here I am! Still gushing about my love affair with this beautiful sound that fills my ears with joy and my heart with passion!!!

Self-acceptance, finding your life pleasure and following your heart are lessons I learned long ago thanks to acdc.

Losing our youthfulness as we age is what shrivels life up into dust! 

Kick up your heels, shake your hips and sing a little. Smile! Have some fun!

Trust in your passions, believe in your dreams!

Connecting love and life and destiny should be everyone’s life purpose.

Love, Life and Acdc!

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I FINISHED IT!!

It’s done! It’s done! 
Hi everyone! I am crawling out from under my rock squinting in the sun cause alas, my proposal that I began in the beginning of March is now complete. 

I know, I know, yes, I did refer to it as The  Asshole, but whoa. A little polish n a little pride and that thing just puckered right up n produced a big fat beautiful masterpiece 
Stay tuned!

Mal is the Man

Screamin tires out of the house late for work, right? And of course, damn gas light is on grrrr. So that means taking the freeway to work because of the stupid gas station. 

After pumping the 2 minute ten into the tank, I popped in that blue iPod cuz the trucks iPod had a dead battery, then I raced outta there and jumped onto the interstate. As SOON as I merged onto 70 like forty seconds later, I see over the dashboard the hood of the truck wasn’t latched. Jammin down the freeway at 80mph with this thing just opening a few inches up n down up n down up n down up n down

What the?!? 

So of course now, cuz I got girl brain, I’m instantly thinking Do I pull over? Do I pull over? Do I pull over? Two hands gripping the wheel as I’m lifted up so I can watch this damn hood open n close at a high velocity of speed. 

I merge outta the fast lane (where I belong) and get behind a ups truck in the right lane and slow to a crawl at 65 MPh where I am able to imagine that the front wind I’m driving against alone in the open left lane is being blocked instead by this truck. I’m safer.

Haha yeah right!

Girl brain of course is still in minor freak out mode. I’m still two hand gripping. Pre playing the scenario in my head hoods gonna fly open hoods gonna fly open hoods gonna fly open 

Rush hour traffic so I’m already worried about skidding to a stop plus also equally at the same time not wanting to pull over.

The dilemma!

Brain still deciding. You make observations to yourself. You start saying. Well it woulda already opened by now if it was gonna right? Surely if it was gonna it woulda. Then I merge to left lane. And of course I get all weird and back to right lane , you know, in case I need the ditch for when the damn thing inevitably flies open breaks OFF the hinges goes flying overhead and smashes violently into the road behind me causing more terror and panic.

Yes. I have a girl brain and that’s how those do.

10 minutes of deciding this before I reminded myself that no, I’m not a complete pussy so I pulled off right before I had to merge onto to 270 from 70 cause I know damn good n well my daddy didn’t raise no wimp.

I get out and tried to shut the damn thing, stupid hair is blowing in my face. I can feel the truck move every time a semi races by. Man that shit makes me nervous, but alas, I must be some kinda dumbass cause it’s not opening OR latching shut. I wasted 6 precious minutes messing with that stupid thing.

I surrender and after a brief phone call to jim I get back on the road irritated, cause, now I’m really late, and mopar is an asshole.

No sound in the car because I haven’t resumed volume just yet so in addition to grripping the wheel and focusing on the hood, now I can hear it. Clank  clank clankclank  clank  clank  clankclank 

Nerve wracking. Then I think? Huh? What are you doing? All you can hear now is this? Too stressful.

I Reach over,  c  r a n  k  the knob a brisk turn all the way over and

Aaaaahhhhhhhhh

No more clanking hood.

Thennnnnnnnn

That damn blue iPod 

This is the device I wear at home attached to my persons and strapped into, usually on quiet volume and hello!!! Now it’s blaring loud on my car stereos acoustics and it’s like gettin some strange, ya know?

WOW!!

And as soon as I’m squeezing my big Ass truck into the center lane within a construction zone and a big 18 wheeler on one side and a dump truck on the other fkn ROCKER kicks on.. not just rocker. But. A live bootleg rocker. Which one it is exactly I’m not sure since I don’t have them all memorized yet, but fffffffuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkk

Shit just took over man.

Hell  yeah!!!

I got my right arm pumpin, both legs goin, Im singin,  dancin,  hair blowin in the wind. Sunglasses on

Mal just rammin it right down my throat

Just having a good ole time

It was like I’d never heard this song in all my life!

Hearts Pumpin

Big fkn grin on face

Singin along with the fans

I kid you not I start laughing as I realize 

Huh? What hood?😅😅😅😅😅

I forgot all about that traumatic stress inducing unnecessary worry inducer. 

Malcolm Young  IS what that was all about.

He took a hold of me and that was all there was to it. Exhilarating as shit man!

I realized where I was and what I was doing as the song ended and the crowd was screamin their tits off. 

I snapped out of my concert frenzy just in time to catch the button on the ipod to see what the hell bootleg WAS that?

Booze. Blues. N Tattoos

All the World Should Know!

What would YOU say to your most looked up to and admired hero or idol? Would you just tell them how great they are and how much you admire them? Like everyone else does? Or would you ask intriguing never asked before questions about themselves so you could extract every last drop?

Are you just as interesting to them as they are to you? Could you make a lasting impression on them? Would they remember you? Or Would you just fade away into their lost and unimportant memories forever?

When I bought my very first black n white composition notebook in 1991 I got it for the sole purpose of filling it with proof of my existence and dreamt of giving it to Angus because I thought it was important that he know me.

What do you expect!? I know it sounds silly but I was 22 years old and my soul had been awakened! I had been introduced to my own sexuality and I was freshly, madly in love with that incredible acdc sound!

Yes damn right he’s gonna know me!! 

It’s 5:50 am and High Voltage is on, oh man what a great tune, plus it’s this live bootleg. I’m strapped into my headphones, which were dangling around my neck when I woke up at 4:45 – musta slipped off last night. The ipod was still on play actually. haha.

So it’s pre-dawn and High Voltage from that Nijmagen Holland boot is on. I’m really developing a soft spot for ALL High Voltage live versions.

Anyway, back to why I’m here.

Yesterday I was trying to finish my Chapter Summary for my Book Proposal and yes it’s impossible! There aren’t any damn “Chapters,” just years n years of writing my silly entries.

But as I was researching I came across Anais Nin. Out of curiosity I began reading about her since I only knew a bare minimum about who n what she was all about. What caught my eye was a review of one of her diary volumes which said how she was inspired by D.H. Lawrence, “Whose writing she felt had so profoundly changed her life that she wanted to pay homage to him”. Anais had written, “And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them.”

Wow

That pretty much sums up me, this and what it all has been about.

So that whole entire sentence coupled with the word HOMAGE.

Hmmm

Got me to thinking ….

This Diary, since 1991, even tho it was silly daydreams, what I was doing? Essentially, I had been all along, writing TO Angus and just hoping someday, maybe….

he would read it.

And. 

Guess what?
He did!

Dang if that ain’t the universe?

I think things happen for a reason and this??? 

Most definitely has ALL been for a reason, 

Angus is so damn phenomenal and I wanna pay my homage to this beautiful man for all the world to know.

Angus Day

Today is Angus’ birthday!!! It oughta be a damn holiday!! InterNational Angus Day

 No school. 

All the banks closed.

Parades n fireworks n all that shit. 

Every car on the street blasting out power riffs.

All the little children wearing VELVET❤️️

Grandma n grandpa playin acdc videos all damn day. 

All the tribute bands playing festivals all across the land.

Hahaha

Anyway. Yes. TODAY I’m sending out the first of the query letters —gna send out a BIGGG WHOPPINNNG

!!

>>>> 3

Don’t laugh. This shit takes TIME

You can’t Rush Greatness

Oh and I think I’m going to post an entry from my book. And when I do, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

I Would like some damn feedback. 

Don’t be shy

I want to hear from you!

I know i’m a complete dumbass but lets have some fun!

Catwalk Greatness

Jim givin me the middle finger right now. Literally!!

 I can see him in my peripheral vision.

i’ve been face down on my phone all day plus like every free minute I’ve had for weeeeeeeks working on this proposal so I take a break and we are sittin here watchin a movie. The Croods. Ok so bonding time I suppose. 

Easy mindless fun entertainment —

until I got a link sent to me and its

GASP. 

Angus on the runway in Chicago!!!

2.17.16

Hmmmmm

Do I click play???

Or do I continue to bond with Jim?

I CHOOSE BOTH

Certainly I can watch angus undetected while I sit here n watch movie

?

Well he’s givin me the finger isn’t he? RIGHT!  So what’s that tell ya? Yes! Because no. I canNOT not watch Angus while watching a movie.

Anyway so I’m gonna go head and write about THAT VIDEO

Because 

First of all. It was Angus on the catwalk on his way to the riser so it was obviously the beginning of his routine ltbr solo

But this was far from routine

Cuz you can obviously tell just by looking at him that he knows he’s gonna be with me at my concert very soon. Perhaps he even thinks maybe I’m at this show?

Huh? HuH ? Haha maybe mayBE!! 

Oh yeah!

You can tell how frickin flippin excited he IS. Just by looking at him!

He’s got light blue shorts on and he’s dancing. Doin all these moves up there. I’m tryin to be smooth ya know, I am sittin up strait, got my feet crossed and both hands closed and I’m lookin RIGHT AT the tv. The movie. And first its the feet. You know the feet are wigglin together. And then I am realizing what I’m doing because my laced hands now have the fingers tappin 

Ok fran knock it off before jim notices!

Uh oh. My eyes. I can’t stop looking at my phone as its resting on the arm of my chair. I try not to look at it. But my eyes. Just keep going there then my shit grin starts. That grin you get on your face and it appears  for what on the outside looks like a grin for no reason but in reality its an angus-watchin-in-secret shit grin. 

Because he’s just so damn amazing!!! Just watching him play!!!

And then in my background brain I hear his voice talking in that video I watched the other day. His thank you video he made at end of the tour and I hear his voice saying “It’s all I know. It’s my whole life” at same time I’m watching him !!!!!!

Hearts in my eyes.

And then I reminisce how excited I was to see the show back then and I’m looking at him and I realize that little bastard looks happy as shit and it apparently looks as if he’s also counting the days down till FRAN

Hahahahaha

Well the video ended and of course because like all things acdc you gotta hit the damn repeat button cuz once ain’t never enough.

Second viewing is where now I notice the arms thrusting up and these out stretched hands and I know these people are witnessing greatness right before their eyes and how truly loved he is!!!! Everyone!!! How can there be even one person there that night not entranced by this amazing man? I got all weird like and goosebumps broke out on my arms

Ahhhhhhh

Kinda puts me right back at where I left off on my proposal and the greatness of Angus that will last for decades.
Ok well I better stop daydreaming about acdc and go finish my paper. 

YouTube Link Ltbr Chicago

YouTube Link Click

Holy Shit!!!!

I HAD AN INFKNGTENSE episode with She’s Got Balls today!!!! Holy shit!!!!

I left for work today and when I started the truck up Little Lover queued up. ——ahhhhhh—-how wonderful n nice was that?? Yeah??? That’s what I thought until I turned onto Summit and all of a sudden
She’s Got Balls fired up!!!

Yikes!!! It got me!!! Got me good!!!!

Ahhhh that guitar. Geez Mal. Ooohhhh he just 
They just. It just

It just got me. 

It was quiet. Empty road. The window cracked a little bit so a nice breeze coming in. Malcolm was giving me all of his glorious rhythmic wonder. It was hypnotic and relaxing and invigorating and sexy and calming and motivating and arousing all at the same time! It was incredible!!!
The acoustics ❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️

Plus no distractions from traffic. Just pure uninterrupted splendor.

Malcolm and Mark

I got both knees goin–one for each.

Then Phil attaches himself to me up top.

Then

ANGussssssss

Ahhhhhhhhh

He

He

He just

Gets me

Ya know?

Then Bon

He’s all 

Throaty

And

A man

And he’s just layin it out

Hannnds n kneees

All across the floor

No one has to tell her what a feller is forrrrr!!!!

Then all of em!!! All of their voices pipe in together and mix with that beautiful incredible sound and

My ladys got

She’s got ballllllls

Lemme tell ya

She’s got balllllls

But mossst important of allllll

She’s got balllllls

Ahhhh oh man!!!! It was SO INCREDIBLE!!!!!!

Super weird tho cuz i posted this song the other day on my fb feed cuz i just happened to think of the song as we were sitting there watching tv. 
Then BAM 

There it was!!

Saturday, March 25