Flickin My Switch

When I created the final draft of my diary for Angus I wasn’t sure how to introduce myself to him properly, so I decided the opening page should be the entry titled Seizure Victim.

I figured he get an idea right away my true level of assholery.

So there it was. Page one.

Angus? Meet Fran.

I had no idea what he would think after reading it, all I could do was hope it made him curious for more and not scare him into calling the authorities.

The rest is history, of course, and no, he didn’t file any restraining orders against me so I think it’s safe to say I didn’t frighten him too badly.

I’m going to share it now with you all here. In full. Please let me know if you like it! I’m a little freaked out exposing myself but I guess I better get used to it!

———————-

SEIZURE VICTIM

Yes!

A sweat soaked, dripping, spent, used up piece of trembling mush. That’s rock n roll baby!

J fell asleep on me in his recliner so I took the opportunity to grab me a lil Angus. I decided I needed smthn special, so I chose Flick.

Stupid decision.

I’m thinking I could just sit there and relax and jam quietly in my recliner?

Haha! What kinda dumbass decision was that?

Cmon!!! ITS FLICK OF THE SWITCH!

Really? Just gonna “sit” and listen? Peacefully? Hell No!

I should have known even before I pressed play it was gonna be bad.

Starting with Rising Power. I hit repeat before it was even barely over! 2 runs of Rising Power back to back. That was just the warm up? Uh oh..

… Ah man, This House IS on Fire…

here we go !!

It’s headed toward the middle of the night! It’s bedtime!  What am I doing?

Forget it.

There’s No Stoppin Now. I’m really starting to get loose!

Flick kicks on and ok I really do know better than this, but it’s like the kid with their hand in the cookie jar.. I just can’t help it. I WANT IT!!

I peek over to see if I’m waking Jim up as I’m headed fast towards angusland……. I don’t wanna get caught……. but holy crap! Its coming! It’s coming!

As Angus started shredding thru his solo on Flick I was still sitting and going at it, but now I’m flinging my body violently to the edge of my seat… I need room! I’m firin it up, just slammin away, feelin good n groovy! Oh yes it feeeeels so right!!

I glance at the clock, it’s 1150p.m?? Oh well!

I’m starting to get super crazy fired up now, it’s middle of night and my switch has been TURNED THE FUCK ON! ! !

daaaah daaaah da-da-da-da. (Sweet baby please help me)

Cause it’s a nervous shake down

daaah daaah da-da-da-da.

Ahhh the sound of that just reduces me to quivering ecstasy.

I’m pulverizing myself.

And? As if by now I haven’t had enough?

Landslide….shhiiiitttt! Here we gooooo!

Gettin extremely breaking-out-in-a-sweat-while-sitting hot!

Ahhh man, my heart is just thumping so hard I hope it doesn’t seize up on me.

Then GUNS… oh man… I now realize I’m about to be cooked… I can feel myself starting to go..

… by the time I got to Badlands I’m still in my chair but I AM JUST WAILING so hard I musta looked like a seizure victim, literally, my arms, shoulders, thighs, knees, feet are all involved.. goin this way and that.. shaking.. my body completely under Phil’s control, my head flingin, and my stomach slammin.

Wow! wow! wow! Ahhh man my heart is racing, my lungs are panting. Thank god you get a 2 second pause between each track! Relentless bastards!

Now BRAINSHAKE… Oh please please help me… I can’t take this sittin down crap anymore so I got up on my feet and headed frantically to the kitchen to finish kicking my ass properly. I’m in there doing my thing…. the Angus two-step with a touch of Phil. You know when you do that infamous Angus swing– head up on the right knee, head down on the left—it really is hypnotic, your breath kinda exhales out with each down swing and on the up you feel the swing from Phil. It’s almost as if it’s a pull, he PULLLLS you up.. omg it’s absolute delirium.

And no matter how many times I hear this stuff over and over it’s almost as if I was hearing it for the first time, like love at first sight. Takes my breath away!

And this time? Yowsa. Unexpected! It was a pretty severe assault!

Good thing I was hiding cuz Jim woulda sensed my shadows across his face.

Arms hips legs and thighs all goin this way and that, fickering flashes of movement over his closed eyes. Just with the wind velocity alone that I was creating with my body was risky. He definitely would have sensed that and woken up and I know he’da been pissed off if he woulda seen what time it was and what I was doin.

So it’s easy to see how one can end up tryin to shake the house down.

ITS FLICK A THE FRIGGIN SWITCH!!!

On big ass vibrating headphones no less!

Madness!

Nothing like workin yourself into a sopping sweating frenzy while secretly hiding alone in the kitchen at midnight.

Who the hell needs a bedtime story when all you really need is a good ass kicking??

Acdc.

It does a body good.

😉

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Beatin Around the Bush

WHEW !

Ok! Update time! Where was I?

Oh yes, writing out that beautiful proposal. Dang a lot of time has passed since then. Writing a book takes a lot of work. There is way more that goes into it besides just words on paper and I’m a hairstylist not a publisher so I’m learning as I go.

My goal is to have it ready for you all in a few more weeks and hopefully it will be a fun positive joyous thing, now that we are all furious about the other book that’s out now by that rat Fink. My book isn’t an acdc biography like you all are used to reading but I know for a fact you will enjoy it more than his worthless rubbish.

So, if its not a book about acdc , then what is my book about you may wonder? Let me see if I can explain it a bit here.

We are all a little crazy for this band. Yes? We know it. They know it. It’s a phenomena that can’t really be explained easily, and that’s part of why I started this whole thing way back when.

My book is actually a diary I have been writing in over a span of 3 decades about my serious infatuation I have with the sound of these instruments. 

I started writing in it the summer of ‘96 during the Ballbreaker tour. I had no idea at that time I would have ever come this far with it, but wow, all these years it lasted.

And? The best part?

Angus read it.

Yes. I said that correctly. Angus Young read my diary.

Crazy to even THINK about it. Still totally freaks me out. Hard to even imagine in my brain what he must have looked like sitting there with his little glasses on reading about my crazy life. It’s freaky!

He knows.

He knows all of it now. All my embarrassing shit.

And I guess you all about to know it too haha. 

I’m in the finishing phases of putting it together and it’s down to just about a month away from launch.

Look for my new Facebook page and let’s have some fun!

Rock on friends!

Bedtime Lullabies

As usual. Headphones to bed. Just some quiet relaxation music to lull me to sleep. 

Push play. 

Random que spins up Blues Booze and Tattoos bootleg. Uh oh

Rocker? This is the song that clicked on first? 

Double uh oh

Ok. Be cool. Its just a song. Relax.

9 seconds go by-

Oops.

Hand sneaks to the volume button. Just a wee tiny bit louder. It won’t hurt nothin. Just a tiny bit more.

Foot’s tappin under the sheets.

Now here’s where I gta watch it, cuz if I move that foot too much well, you know, his highness doesn’t like the wiggling.

Stop the entire foot and stick with just toes.

Left foot…. No. Right. Yes, Right. Left foot is the one on the bottom. Maybe he won’t notice the toes on the top.

Ok, turn it up just a wee more. Not too much, just a tiny tiny bit more.

Close eyes.

Relaxxxxxx. Enjoy the music. Go to sleep.

Whoops.

Now all the toes on both feet are moving? Eyes pop open. He’s not sayin nothin? Whew ok so I’m good.

But stay smooth. Don’t ruin it by wiggling. 

Volume a wee bit more–

Eyes both close again.

Relax.

9 more seconds pass. All the toes on feet and now my head?

Be careful.. just keep from jiggling the bed and he probably won’t notice.

Uh oh. I just realized my ankles are moving too. The bed shakes a bit.

Be cool man!

I roll over on back. 

Beautiful guitars in my ears. 

Drums.

Mouth. Breaks out in a grin. Fingers strumming along atop my belly. Both feet tapping discreetly in two different directions. And yes. Of course the toes. They are the best part. The easiest moving body part to really wiggle good and still keep secret.

Next thing I know?

Feet. Toes. Fingers. Head. ANNND my kneecaps are now twitching to the beat. My damn kneecaps!

Cmon!

Oh man it was jiggle jiggle jiggle. How the hell can you lay flat and keep still during something like that?

I felt like leaping up on top of the bed and pounding my fists in the air!

Whoo weeee!

After that song ended I was like, oh thank goodness that’s over cuz it about turned into an earthquake up in here.

I peeked over and his royal highness laying beside me was staring right at me. I had to force myself from exposing my heightened sense of euphoria as I’m laying there with my heart pounding. I could see in the glow of the light his eyebrow was raised.

You done? He says.

Hahaha

I dunno about done but that sure the hell wasn’t any sort of lull.

That track should be labeled a bedtime with acdc no no!

Believe in Your Dreams

I am participating in the Writing Contest: You Deserve to be Inspired. Hosted by Positive Writer.

http://positivewriter.com/writing-contest-you-deserve-to-be-inspired/

Enjoy!

When I was 12 years old, I saw the words “Bon Scott” spray painted in black graffiti on a water tower from the window of my seventh grade history class. What seemed to be a meaningless observation was actually my life’s foreshadowing. Who and what I would become later in life would be very much influenced by this person and who he was associated with. 

Eight years later on a sweltering hot September afternoon, I saw acdc live in concert from the very front row. They appeared on that stage and the rest of my life in that instant >>>> began. 

There I was gripping the fence just a few feet from the stage looking at these magnificent human beings with a look of awe spread across my face.

And the Music! It was so incredibly LOUD. Shaking the sky loose loud and so strong, it felt like a velvet lined cloud encasing me in warmth yet gripping and grabbing ahold of me and jolting my ass alive!  

That pounding music penetrated into the most inner depths of my soul and set me on fire! The energy generated from the sound of those instruments fusing together was like a vibrating pulse of quivering ecstasy! It was a complete eye opening to what being a woman was all about. Oh wow was it INTENSE!

This new deal? This acdc thing? Whatever it is was now the only thing that mattered. The life that I had known was now firmly behind me.

Angus was unimaginably enchanting and watching him was like nothing I had ever experienced — NOTHING

My mouth remained open, my eyes refusing to blink for fear of missing even a nano millisecond of this unbelievable man! Angus was running about, flowing hair flying behind him, bending and twisting himself into a frenetic spasm of euphoria. 

However, amid this stimulating awakening to my own desires, there was also a crowd induced drunken frenzy brewing, and yes, unfortunately the hot sun and overindulgence of alcohol created a stirring pot within this overheated mob, and it got very ugly.

And when the ugliness of the crowd erupted into a scary and confusing bout of violent, disrespectful behavior, and unbelievable assholery toward the band, Malcolm and Angus Young, these two extraordinary brothers, strode to the front of that stage and stuck out their chins. They faced that mayhem head on by standing up stronger and taller with a piercing look of defiance in their eyes. This is the moment I fell in love with acdc, and Angus Young became my hero.

The impact on me was so profound and was such an incredible experience I wanted to leap about the air like a lovestruck cartoon character!

All my life until this point I lived with self-consciousness and doubt, hiding myself inside a shell. I worried about what others would think of me. 

Feelings of insecurity and being ugly influenced my outward demeanor, and I saw myself as inadequate and invisible which of course dictated who I was and how I reacted to life.

Believe it or not, acdc made me realize how to finally accept me for who I was and not to care what anyone thinks. To just to be who I am and if they didn’t like it, fuck em.

And at that moment witnessing how they themselves reacted to an extremely negative and scary situation I came to realize I wasn’t just looking at a rock band, I was watching greatness. I was overcome with these sensational feelings of gratitude for them and I grew the utmost respect for each of these five men standing in front of me and I was blooming with inspiration. 

I knew almost nothing of the Young brothers on that day, but I would soon learn about their incredible badass attitudes toward life and how both did things their own way. Never quitting, each devoting his entire life to giving 100% no matter what adversity they faced or what critics had to say.

Not long after that life-altering concert I put all my inspiration into writing in a diary, and I had this crazy daydream of Angus knowing me. I fantasized about him someday reading it.

I wrote thousands of words, drew silly pictures, told him all of my embarrassing stories. Everything I could possibly say and as intimately as I could. He must! He must know I existed!

Everyone always asks me when I talk starry-eyed about the magnificence of Angus, “Why do you love him so much?” I trip over my own damn tongue because I can’t spit out the words quickly enough or even sound coherent because my thoughts all leap to the front of my head too fast and I sound like a jibbering twelve year old. I’M A GROWN ADULT! I have a husband, a career, my goodness I even have grandkids!

Decades have gone by now, and through all the trials and tribulations life has thrown at me I never gave into abandoning my affection and dedication to them. Acdc somehow made me self-assured and confident and grew me into the uninhibited woman that I have become.  
I have lived a joyous, pleasure filled existence.

And oh wow.

After many years of attempts, failures, and persistence my foreshadowed destiny finally connected with my dreams and I achieved my greatest goal.

I stood face to face with this magnificent man and personally placed my 460 page, two and a half pound diary directly into his wee tiny hands.

A phenomenal day indeed. 

Not only that but months later I received personal confirmation from both Angus and his wife Ellen that Angus did indeed read my diary! 

My dream had come true. 

He does now know I exist!

As I have grown older, my affection and dedication to them remains. And here I am! Still gushing about my love affair with this beautiful sound that fills my ears with joy and my heart with passion!!!

Self-acceptance, finding your life pleasure and following your heart are lessons I learned long ago thanks to acdc.

Losing our youthfulness as we age is what shrivels life up into dust! 

Kick up your heels, shake your hips and sing a little. Smile! Have some fun!

Trust in your passions, believe in your dreams!

Connecting love and life and destiny should be everyone’s life purpose.

Love, Life and Acdc!

I FINISHED IT!!

It’s done! It’s done! 
Hi everyone! I am crawling out from under my rock squinting in the sun cause alas, my proposal that I began in the beginning of March is now complete. 

I know, I know, yes, I did refer to it as The  Asshole, but whoa. A little polish n a little pride and that thing just puckered right up n produced a big fat beautiful masterpiece 
Stay tuned!

Mal is the Man

Screamin tires out of the house late for work, right? And of course, damn gas light is on grrrr. So that means taking the freeway to work because of the stupid gas station. 

After pumping the 2 minute ten into the tank, I popped in that blue iPod cuz the trucks iPod had a dead battery, then I raced outta there and jumped onto the interstate. As SOON as I merged onto 70 like forty seconds later, I see over the dashboard the hood of the truck wasn’t latched. Jammin down the freeway at 80mph with this thing just opening a few inches up n down up n down up n down up n down

What the?!? 

So of course now, cuz I got girl brain, I’m instantly thinking Do I pull over? Do I pull over? Do I pull over? Two hands gripping the wheel as I’m lifted up so I can watch this damn hood open n close at a high velocity of speed. 

I merge outta the fast lane (where I belong) and get behind a ups truck in the right lane and slow to a crawl at 65 MPh where I am able to imagine that the front wind I’m driving against alone in the open left lane is being blocked instead by this truck. I’m safer.

Haha yeah right!

Girl brain of course is still in minor freak out mode. I’m still two hand gripping. Pre playing the scenario in my head hoods gonna fly open hoods gonna fly open hoods gonna fly open 

Rush hour traffic so I’m already worried about skidding to a stop plus also equally at the same time not wanting to pull over.

The dilemma!

Brain still deciding. You make observations to yourself. You start saying. Well it woulda already opened by now if it was gonna right? Surely if it was gonna it woulda. Then I merge to left lane. And of course I get all weird and back to right lane , you know, in case I need the ditch for when the damn thing inevitably flies open breaks OFF the hinges goes flying overhead and smashes violently into the road behind me causing more terror and panic.

Yes. I have a girl brain and that’s how those do.

10 minutes of deciding this before I reminded myself that no, I’m not a complete pussy so I pulled off right before I had to merge onto to 270 from 70 cause I know damn good n well my daddy didn’t raise no wimp.

I get out and tried to shut the damn thing, stupid hair is blowing in my face. I can feel the truck move every time a semi races by. Man that shit makes me nervous, but alas, I must be some kinda dumbass cause it’s not opening OR latching shut. I wasted 6 precious minutes messing with that stupid thing.

I surrender and after a brief phone call to jim I get back on the road irritated, cause, now I’m really late, and mopar is an asshole.

No sound in the car because I haven’t resumed volume just yet so in addition to grripping the wheel and focusing on the hood, now I can hear it. Clank  clank clankclank  clank  clank  clankclank 

Nerve wracking. Then I think? Huh? What are you doing? All you can hear now is this? Too stressful.

I Reach over,  c  r a n  k  the knob a brisk turn all the way over and

Aaaaahhhhhhhhh

No more clanking hood.

Thennnnnnnnn

That damn blue iPod 

This is the device I wear at home attached to my persons and strapped into, usually on quiet volume and hello!!! Now it’s blaring loud on my car stereos acoustics and it’s like gettin some strange, ya know?

WOW!!

And as soon as I’m squeezing my big Ass truck into the center lane within a construction zone and a big 18 wheeler on one side and a dump truck on the other fkn ROCKER kicks on.. not just rocker. But. A live bootleg rocker. Which one it is exactly I’m not sure since I don’t have them all memorized yet, but fffffffuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkk

Shit just took over man.

Hell  yeah!!!

I got my right arm pumpin, both legs goin, Im singin,  dancin,  hair blowin in the wind. Sunglasses on

Mal just rammin it right down my throat

Just having a good ole time

It was like I’d never heard this song in all my life!

Hearts Pumpin

Big fkn grin on face

Singin along with the fans

I kid you not I start laughing as I realize 

Huh? What hood?😅😅😅😅😅

I forgot all about that traumatic stress inducing unnecessary worry inducer. 

Malcolm Young  IS what that was all about.

He took a hold of me and that was all there was to it. Exhilarating as shit man!

I realized where I was and what I was doing as the song ended and the crowd was screamin their tits off. 

I snapped out of my concert frenzy just in time to catch the button on the ipod to see what the hell bootleg WAS that?

Booze. Blues. N Tattoos

All the World Should Know!

What would YOU say to your most looked up to and admired hero or idol? Would you just tell them how great they are and how much you admire them? Like everyone else does? Or would you ask intriguing never asked before questions about themselves so you could extract every last drop?

Are you just as interesting to them as they are to you? Could you make a lasting impression on them? Would they remember you? Or Would you just fade away into their lost and unimportant memories forever?

When I bought my very first black n white composition notebook in 1991 I got it for the sole purpose of filling it with proof of my existence and dreamt of giving it to Angus because I thought it was important that he know me.

What do you expect!? I know it sounds silly but I was 22 years old and my soul had been awakened! I had been introduced to my own sexuality and I was freshly, madly in love with that incredible acdc sound!

Yes damn right he’s gonna know me!! 

It’s 5:50 am and High Voltage is on, oh man what a great tune, plus it’s this live bootleg. I’m strapped into my headphones, which were dangling around my neck when I woke up at 4:45 – musta slipped off last night. The ipod was still on play actually. haha.

So it’s pre-dawn and High Voltage from that Nijmagen Holland boot is on. I’m really developing a soft spot for ALL High Voltage live versions.

Anyway, back to why I’m here.

Yesterday I was trying to finish my Chapter Summary for my Book Proposal and yes it’s impossible! There aren’t any damn “Chapters,” just years n years of writing my silly entries.

But as I was researching I came across Anais Nin. Out of curiosity I began reading about her since I only knew a bare minimum about who n what she was all about. What caught my eye was a review of one of her diary volumes which said how she was inspired by D.H. Lawrence, “Whose writing she felt had so profoundly changed her life that she wanted to pay homage to him”. Anais had written, “And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them.”

Wow

That pretty much sums up me, this and what it all has been about.

So that whole entire sentence coupled with the word HOMAGE.

Hmmm

Got me to thinking ….

This Diary, since 1991, even tho it was silly daydreams, what I was doing? Essentially, I had been all along, writing TO Angus and just hoping someday, maybe….

he would read it.

And. 

Guess what?
He did!

Dang if that ain’t the universe?

I think things happen for a reason and this??? 

Most definitely has ALL been for a reason, 

Angus is so damn phenomenal and I wanna pay my homage to this beautiful man for all the world to know.